Prove Me Wrong: Chia Seeds Look Like Frog Eggs 🐸
Serial killers from Indiana, frozen Palomas, and oh yes: I'm alive!
A Letter From Sunday
What can I tell you? I got strep AGAIN. And this time around, it was so awful that I quietly told my soul as I was laying in bed “it’s okay. You can go now. Your time here is done.” Obviously, my soul did not leave my body and I’m still alive because of my second round of antibiotics. Strep has become my cosmic joke, perhaps a little nod from the universe that if I lived in Oregon Trail times, I would just be dead right now.
Having escaped “death” a second time, I feel like Scrooge handing out turkeys after he meets with the Christmas ghosts. I feel like anything is possible: I could become a swimsuit model. I could become fluent in French, just by using Babbel every now and then. I could become a CEO, and then go around telling everyone I am the “SHE-EO.”
This week, I’m enjoying so many things that bring me pleasure and joy. I’m reading The Virginian, which includes a life-changing chapter about a hen named Em’ly, Venus is moving through my 5th House which means I’m going to be extremely good looking until August 16, and I’m starting to eat chia seed puddings in the morning. The texture is a little bit off-putting and like frog eggs, but the self-righteousness I get by having all that extra fiber is unmatched. Oh! And I watched Barb and Star Go to Vista Del Mar which made me laugh the whole time and was so delightful.
Cocktail Recipe: Frozen Paloma
Oh my god, I love a Paloma! Don’t talk to me about Palomas, just don’t get me started. If it’s on the menu, I’m ordering it. Too bad it’s early in the morning as I write because honestly, I could down one of these frosty bad boys right now. Recipe by Sugar and Charm. Recipe makes two drinks in case you wondered “almost five ounces of tequila!”
4 1/2 ounces tequila
5 ounces grapefruit juice
2 1/2 tbsp sugar
2 ounces lime juice
2 1/2 cups ice
Directions: Blend all ingredients until smooth.
Your Moon Sign Horoscope: July 23 - 31
The upcoming full moon will move into Aquarius at around 10pm on July 23. I’m absolutely sick of whatever it is the universe has been dishing out, so I hope that this full moon will bring out the nice parts about the sign: gatherings with friends, eclectic and creative new ideas, and harmony.
Aries Moon: You will start to feel and see acts of appreciation around you during this moon cycle, resulting in a nice pick-me-up for your ego.
Taurus Moon: Love blossoms for you as your closest interpersonal relationships reach the fabled “next level.”
Gemini Moon: Progress on current projects and goals may have stalled during the summer, but this is not the right time to get things back on track. Enjoy the dreamy relaxation of the Aquarius moon.
Cancer Moon: The Aquarius moon encourages you to try something new in the way you express yourself: new clothes, new hair, or a new way of feeling and being.
Leo Moon: An unexpected bout of happiness throws your current summer blahs off course this coming week.
Virgo Moon: Take time to cleanse your social media followers or following to make sure you have the right people watching you + engaging with you.
Libra Moon: A new source of inspiration this week might not motivate you to work harder, but it will make your hard days a little easier.
Scorpio Moon: Host a gathering with friends, small or large, or make plans to do so during this week cycle.
Sagittarius Moon: Protect your sacred space: tell someone NO this week.
Capricorn Moon: Your intuition will lead you toward your next big move this week: is another city in store for you? Another place to live in your current city?
Aquarius Moon: Tending to yourself is the focus of the full moon, which means truly taking a selfish look at your life and wondering “what needs to be better? Where can we improve?”
Pisces Moon: It’s a good time to experiment with the way that you present yourself to others, to align more perfectly with you in the present, not you in the past.
The Passive Income Scam
In honor of the Aquarius full moon, I think we should just laugh at stressful people who, for whatever reason, make buying and renting properties sound easy and not like a huge pain in the butt with stressful wiring situations and naughty HVACs. Is this just a Garbage Day repost account? Yes. But I really enjoyed this one, and as someone constantly on Tik Tok, I eye roll whenever I see the inevitable “Easy Way to Make $26k an Hour.”
A Critical Piece of News
I’m currently listening to Hell’s Princess, a nonfiction account of the Norwegian immigrant serial killer from the 1900s, Belle Gunness. The story is wonderful and sometimes unintentionally funny, as Belle’s court testimony for the trials of her first two (and very murdered) husbands as well as her phony ass love letters are shared verbatim. The woman killed a lot of people, and her farm in La Porte Indiana is on my list of places to just look at for morbid reasons.
But why wait! Tracy Lords of Cry Baby fame (at least, that’s my favorite of hers) will be starring at some point in the movie version of this real life horror story! The production has been delayed by Covid so who knows when it’s coming. But what news!